The Octopus's European Vacation

The Octopus, flush with many successes and much publicity in the States, decides to expand His empire across the pond.

200kph on the Octobahn
The Octopus begins His trip in Germany, rents one of BMW's finest touring vehicles, and immediately enjoys speeds of over 120mph. The local authorities are forced to intervene, however, and remind Him that such speeds are for the Autobahn, not the airport access road.

On tour
The Octopus absorbs the local scenery and culture. His attention seems to be wandering here outside Berg Vischering. But, there are dozens of towns and scores of castles to visit. Thank The Octopus for high speed limits.

The Octopus, inspired by Germany's geopolitical history, decides to investigate alternative ideologies. The corporate-controlled oligarchs and their fascist thugs bust Him for expressing His views, though (defacing public property, really), and he's asked to leave the country.

Six empty legs
The Octopus quickly warms to the traditional German "2-litre lunch."

What's he smoking?
In Munster.

The Octopus, expelled from Germany, simply moves on to His next conquest, England. His polyester construction is particularly well-suited to the local climate.

Mmmm. Seafood.
The Octopus makes a new friend in Trafalgar Square.

More than eight legs
The Octopus's climbing experience is no match for high-tech pole treatments.

I have you now...
Access to large weapons feeds The Octopus's delusions of grandeur. He declares Himself King of England, until security at the Imperial War Museum chases Him away.

Girl Power!
The fame, power, and skill of The Octopus is finally appreciated by Britain's finest cultural ambassadors. What does He really, really want?

photos by Paul Rozelle

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